Oh shut up it's the best habit I've held in years.

the truth is not that comfortable.

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 22:41:07 GMT

last night was strange.

especially smoking pot in front of the virgin mary.

i fail at life.

... i'm scared to write in this.

Wed, 31 May 2006 17:52:01 GMT

HI LIVEJOURNAL.

im a music geeek

Tue, 02 May 2006 00:02:49 GMT

my playlist as of late:

rocky votolato - suicide medicine
funeral diner - tour cd 2006
arsis - celebration of guilt
alkaline trio - from here to infirmary
moneen - the red tree
the sea, like lead/belegost - split
guns n' roses - appetite for destruction
the appleseed cast - low level owl vols. 1 & 2
his hero is gone - everythingggg

wutz yr jamz brah?

everything resets by the semester.

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 04:32:46 GMT

thank you for smoking was one of the best movies i've seen in theaters (and still for free!) for a long time.

handcuffs used to be stronger, and my heart used to beat harder. sleep came a bit quicker back then, when blood filled excited veins and red represented more than just capillaries. now i'm just numb from the anesthetics and i'm not sure i work the same way i used to. yeah, before the vivisection. i hope you're happy that you've got me figured out. the way i work. oh yeah, you've got me figured out. please go back to the way you felt about me three months ago, when cute conversation rolled off your tongue, when it was accented by a strong scent of alcohol. remember when you used to breathe on me? now you just sigh and exhale, smoke travelling behind those rosy red cheeks. i hope you forget how this works by next semester.

argh.

mmm...literature.

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 22:32:30 GMT

i finished the Preacher graphic novel series about a week ago, and i highly reccomend it to anyone who doesn't take religion seriously. its a fantastic analysis on not only catholicism, but the american dream itself. if you enjoyed dogma, you'd definitely enjoy this. its basically about an alcoholic preacher who becomes sick with god, gets these crazy powers, and sets out on a quest with his crazy lover and vampiric best friend to hunt down god almighty himself. oh, and did i mention john wayne is his imaginary friend? its 9 seperate volumes, but its well worth the money. anyway, i still have to read manhattan transfer for english. (i'm contemplating whether i should sparknote it, since i also have to study for two AP exams, but i'd rather find out if its good or not first) after that, i should be reading The Autumn of the Patriarch by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, which my dear mommy bought for me out of nowhere.

also, I just ordered the following for some light, "non-serious" reading last night from amazon.

The Zombie Survival Guide : Complete Protection from the Living Dead
Transmetropolitan Vol. 1: Back on the Street
Transmetropolitan Vol. 2: Lust for Life
Kingdom Come
Walking Dead, Vols. 1-4

so what, i wanna know is, what is y'all readin'?

weak.

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 05:32:53 GMT

so many useless prescription drugs, but none that match the situation i've been stuck in. a search for stimulation, spent miles behind green hills and gray cities, void of anything besides color. yes, home alone america, and your parents are out of town. i unscrewed the child safety locks and found your mom's ritalin pills next to her wine. i thought about you the next morning for a good twenty minutes, stuck between being awake and being left for dead, skipping the stage that involves leaving your bed. then i got up and looked at the girl laying alone at my side and thought, "fuck this, i wanna go home." here's to taking caffeine pills when you've been diagnosed with insomnia, and to not knowing too much of a good thing; too little of a problem to overdose on the solution. oh we, the poor, tired, huddled masses, we raise the wine filled glasses, and swallow that rich red to deal with those sick, sad blues, not forgetting to swallow the vicodin for therapy to deal with the substance abuse.

bring on the slut factor!

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 00:20:09 GMT

hey, new layout!
now you know its serious.

i smoked today.
i went to girls house.
and just slept in her bed.
i am not very content.
i am addicted to grand theft auto.
i cannot stop playing TSL on my guitar.
i need to buy new speakers.
she is still on my mind.
yes, capitalization is still over-rated.

desperate for anyone to desire you.

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 04:15:10 GMT

she says, "your love would be hell but it's just not hot enough, baby."

every fucking time i try to write in this, i end up starting to write a paragraph, and as soon as i begin to think my feelings at the moment aren't worthy of expressing, i end up placing three dots at the end of the last sentence... and i wind up holding down backspace and erasing everything. (except this time)

i really do want to start writing more in this.. its so just hard to get back into. or maybe, my life is just incredibly boring these days. actually, it definitely is. it feels like the majority of my friends have better things to do than to hang out with me. and i'd much rather be working on nights, but princeton ski shops' season is over, so everyones laid off and hours are cut. of course, i'm lucky enough to stay on.

my parents leave for DR tommorow and i'm at home studying for my AP exams this spring break. a nice amount of alcohol would be optimal for consumption, but thats asking too much. i'll probably just smoke weed and play guitar. also; i'm trying to get back into fall out boy so i can relate to all the cool kids, but it's so hard to actually consider the idea that the band might have a shred of sincerity left within their music.

p.s; i really should try harder to fall in love. fuck this.

i waste so much money on vinyl.

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 02:49:02 GMT

its disgusting.

incoming:

CROWPATH - Red On Chrome limited edition colored LP
ARSIS - A Celebration of Guilt deluxe limited gatefold LP + bonus 7" (red/yellow)
WOW OWLS - Pick Your Patterns LP (red)
WOW, OWLS! / THE SETUP - Split 7" (maroon)
THURSDAY - A City By the Light Divided Limited Edition CD + 7"(red)
DOOOMRIDERS - Black Thunder LP (green)

and heres pictures of how rad this shit looks!

and i need to order the starting line - say it like you mean it on vinyl. :)

words taste sharper at 32 degress celsius, and red wine tastes better standing in ocean water.

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 01:11:29 GMT

before this starboard, i remember a few empty verses, back when i spoke in unstable and out of tune guitar tones. sunsets choked in basements, telecasters lowered to half mast. twelve am,pm, i had meant to throw away those stale notes, those colorless chords. you used to speak in crumpled papers, unfilled in hearts, and sloppy cursive. now i just speak in morse code, with each syllable resembling a mayday signal. now she says its cold. she says our stories are better off untold. i said just take a loose breath. a deep breath. she said im too cold. im too cold? damn right, these lips are warm enough to have sunk more than just ships. and fuck yeah, yes we are drowning. and fuck no to throwing safety lines, one-liners, and life savers. thats just the tip of the fucking iceberg for you.

hiding evidence.

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 02:50:48 GMT

my bones hurt and i'm not sure if i've outgrown this skin or not. worn out, worn in, worn thin like paint thinner on pale walls and dirty canvas. stretched me out thin, dug your fingernails beneath my skin. i kept it loose and new then, i remember it having more color then. i guess we developed callouses in constant. like simple accidents without the broken bones and contusions, much like car crash confusion. i remember sitting on ribcaged pianos that spoke in tongues sweeter than summer, and a winter i couldn't be happier to leave. i remember last night's last words. something about bubbles, ambulances, and notebook paper not worth writing on. and i'm still not sure what you meant, but i'm pretty sure i was listening.

...and shitty thoughts at eleven fifty-six am.

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 16:58:44 GMT

and the cowboys collected cobwebs. dust for dust, and the cowboys collected cobwebs. dust for dust, and no luck for love, keep turning those pages, torn pages, yellow coffee conversation stained pages. too busy paying attention to hand motions and body language, arms falling right out of place, and leg friction becoming a bit too uncomfortable for my tastes. not so much as awkward, and not anywhere as much as insincere. the truth is, i would like to, but i think its better to not have you anywhere near. oh please please, get me out of here; this godamn car, this uncomfortable car seat, empty night, and this unconsiderable confusion i never even thought to think about. thoughts like these are better of covered by blankets and black nights.

she.

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 22:46:18 GMT

i got tagged by daniel or something.
and no, i don't use LJ, but i wish i did.

heres six random things;

1) i like a girl, maybe two. feelings are never reciprocated.
2) i don't think i have ever felt this empty in my life.
3) nintendo's one of the few things that makes me happy.
4) i wish i read and wrote more.
5) i play my acoustic too much.
-----

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 05:10:57 GMT

oh remember that boarding and bindings i bought?
they got stolen today.
about 500 bucks gone; 77 hours of my life wasted not counting nj taxes.

and my cat ran away this week.

what a beautiful fucking beggining to a new year.

screaming gets you nothing.

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 01:46:34 GMT

I don't know what the fuck I want from life, but I'm sure as hell not getting it.

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 00:16:06 GMT

And just as I think I am happy with what has just been weaved, these age-old threads begin to unravel, cut by dull chords and stagnant verses. Pushing unorganized clutter towards the back of my mind, I become entangled between umblical cords and telephone wires, my screams held deaf beneath empty dial tones. There isn't a medium valid enough for such a worthy expression.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 03:35:59 GMT

So I'm just about broke. I have just recently purchased a new computer for about $1,500 (!!!) dollars because my current one is obsolete by about 6 years and is pretty much dead... hopefully my new one will come in on wednesday. :) Of course, I'm really sad about spending so much money on a single product, when all of that could have either purchased me a fuckload of vinyl and a new record player, an awesome amp, or even a tv for my room... but whatever, no regrets. Besides, my parents are pitching in because my birthday's on November 3.

In other news, I switched out of my Java AP class to Philosophy, because it just got way too lame of a class, and I'm way too lazy of a person. However, I get to write a paper on Nietzsche. SCORE. American History AP II is way too hard and I'm failing Algebra II.

This weekend though, has been pretty awesome.

Thursday - I came over Marcos's house and we jammed out on guitar coming up with some awesome riffs.. we just need to come up with some cool transitions. Shit sounded sweet, sorta like Curl Up And Die/Reversal Of Man/As The Sun Sets shit.

Friday - Chilled with Dan, went to white castle..hit up the quarry... started a fire..burned my finger. Fun.

Saturday/Sunday - Woke up tired; went to the SAT course; worked for 7 hours; had an expresso from starbucks; tasted shitty; chased it down with redbull; got mad hyper; recieved a surprise paycheck.

Then I went to go see STAY with Kozik, I didn't like it too much, even though he did. Way too incoherent, but I can see why people will dig it. It was okay, but it had multiple flaws, including that it provided audience with very little plot info, confusing the crap out of them by the end, with way too much room for assumptions. Chris DID come up with a cool theory though. The acting suffered slightly...Ewan McGregor was weaksauce! The dude from the notebook was good though. It was also pretty slow-moving at parts, and I just got really sleepy. The movie had really good camera work though, really provided the audience with the right perspective, and it really toyed with you in the way you looked at the movie. It wasn't THAT bad of a movie, but for the most part, it failed, basically a pretty package with nothing beneath the wrapping paper.

Slept over Kozik's house, played Marvel vs Capcom 2 and We <3 Katamari... and woke up at 10 for no reason. LAME-O. I went home around 3:00, and I went to sleep, waking up around 7;30. My sleep cycle's fucked. NO SCHOOL TOMMOROW. GOOD NIGHT. :)

I KEEP MY HEAD IN THE CLOUDS!!!

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 00:28:05 GMT

Last night was quite tiiiiiight.
Marcos, Adam and his friends arrived to pick me up late as fuck around like 5:30.. went through hardcore traffic, almost died multiple times, with four of us packed in the back of the car, listening to lots of metalcore and silverstein..(!) and then kickflipz got in at NYC, and it was over the top...Adam's fucking ass was getting burned by lighters.

We arrived at Knitting Factory bit late, in the middle of Ghengis Tron's set, saw a few familiar kids, went to take a piss.. and Marcos and I met A.M. from Daughters in the bathroom..we discussed this huge pile of feces unflushed in the toilet, buried beneath a fuckload of toilet paper.. and dude was like "yeah, our new songs go past like 2 minutes..we're almost a real band now!" Dude was mad cool. And before that, we saw Wes walking up the stairs.. dude is so rad.

So I hit up the merch table and they didn't have Breather Resist hoodies or Some Girls hoodies.. I was a bit dissapointed but whatevzz.. and then Breather Resist hit the stage. Really good... from what I can remember, they played Midas In Reverse, Honest to God, Loose Lipped Error.. fuck those are the only song titles I knew. Dudes put on a good show.

Inbetween sets, I fucking talked to the one and only Justen Pearson, who offered me some organic chocolate milk... and guess what? It did NOT taste like shit! Fuck, it tasted better than normal chocolate milk. Thumbs up. He also said the new Holy Molar's recorded, might get released next year. Thennnn Daughters came on... fashiongrind motherfuckers... who cares wether you like them or not. They put on a good show as always, with A.M. making some funny commentary, DRUNK AS HELL. They played some new songs, crowd went crazy, starting swinging off the ceiling.. good man.

After chilling a bit more, SOME GIRLS CAME ON. Ohhh baby. Dudes fucking rocked out, played most of the EP.. and some oldies. I went nuts, Wes went nuts, everybody who wasnt lame and left after Daughters went nuts. I'm still sore as hell and my ears are ringing and my vocal chords are shredded. At one point, Justen got hit in the neck by the guitarist.. and Wes's hand start bleeding cuz he cut himself on the mic...or was it his nose that was bleeding? I DUNNO, THE DUDE WAS JUMPING AROUND DRUNK AS FUCK, GOING ON TOP OF THE CROWD. What a showman. Unfortunately, at the end of the set, I think Wes blew out his mic and they just played this lame improv shit where they played the same chords over and over and Wes just tried screaming over them without a mic...dude got mad pissed. It liked he was screaming "up" then "help".

End of the show, talked to the guitarist about his effects pedals and set up.. nice guy.. and I shook Wes's hand (!!!) asked about his book, which is apparently finished but Deathwish Inc is being lazy with releasing it or something.. I dunno. I bought a green Some Girls shirt thats a little big on me cuz its american apparel...its got two bunnies fucking. I also got the Some Girls EP (even though I already heard it, I decided to support 31G and the band), and a pin. I decided to take the bus home with Sophia and Erica, and I got home before 11;30. What a good night.

rararar

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 01:52:11 GMT

Ok ok, update on life.
Nicholas Cage at Port Authority; true story.
Panic At The Disco! sucks. Fuck you.
Curl Up And Die broke up. Fuck you again.
Raein broke up and they were suppoused to tour the U.S. east coast this summer. FUCK YOU FOR THE THIRD TIME.
I HAVE A LAME ESSAY TO DO ON LAME PROTESTANTS! vkxlzvlzxjlkvj
anyway, here's a positive thing.

http://www.templeshirts.com

yeah.

amazing?

i know.

i got my paycheck today.
i need a haircut, and i dont like the place i go to anymore. any of you cut/dye hair?
i see some girls tommorow. RADDDD.

i hope i'll turn out better in the future.

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 18:42:35 GMT

Haha, i just emptied out my pockets of loose change, fourty dollars and 365 cents, torn reciepts, faded phone numbers, crumpled school drawings of doggy-style fucking, and a dimebag of marijauna.

Thats right, I said marijuana. I've been fucking walking around with a dime of weed in my pocket for the past 4 days.
Shit, right?

I'm off to work, bye.

you would fuck a bunch of homosexuals for a flying car?

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 20:45:22 GMT

"Should our music be banned?
Sign the Petition!

To: U.S. Congress

NBC announced today that the M.A.H.R. (Mothers Against Hard Rock) Foundation is trying to outlaw The Used and My Chemical Romance from 45 states across America. They are petitioning for it as we speak and if they get more signatures then those against it, then the bands (as well as many others including From First To Last, Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, and Darkest Hour.) will be banned from most of the United States. If you are against taking away the music we know and love please sign this petition. Thank You.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

hhahahhahaa.
im so joining mothers against hard rock! I WANT THESE BANDS OUTTA HURR.
well except darkest hour, they're okaaay, but theyre faggots for starting a metalcore band after City Of Caterpillar. Newbs.

in other news, i got addicted to we love katamari yesterday.
and my house is a mess.

WHO REMEMBERS HOPESFALL WHEN THEY WERE GOOD!!

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 00:05:48 GMT

Fuck taxes, haha.
I made about $160 working, but it got me down to fucking $130. :(
Oh wells, at least it ain't Canada... I don't really need hardcore healthcare..yet. (hopefull never!)

But fuck, all I think about is music these days anyway. I've been really meaning to send out a money order to a few distros for records, but lately all i've been listening to is this:

Appleseed Cast - Mare Vitalis
Cursed - Two
Jesu - Self-Titled
Mono - Under the Papal Tree
Joshua Fit For Battle - To Bring Our Own End
Kylesa - To Walk a Middle Course
HOPESFALL - THE SATTELITTE YEARS

oh yeah, and I just got my hands on the new Propogandhi, heh. It ain't bad, I tells ya!

throw yo diamonds in tha sky if you feel the vibe!

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 02:58:54 GMT

Honestly, I have to say, life is fucking rad. I have a job, that I enjoy so far, I know chill kids, I know who my friends are, I'm happy with who I am, and im like 130 lbs. (SWEET) School ain't bad although its hard as hell, and i'm constantly tired since i get 4-7 hours of sleep a night. At least I get out of school at 1;30. I'm fucking making money, saving up to buy shit:

a)comp partzzz (i got $600 saved up)
b)snowboard (30% DISCOUNT!!!)
c)new amp (i still havent bought it off the guy from 7654 stories since i lost his number and i feel like a total flaky dick)
d)new guitar, probably a telecaster. ($600-1200)
e)new record player and a fuckload of vinyl. ($200 on turntable, plus im ordering shit tommorow)

only two things lacking right now is a girlfriend and a fuckload of drugs.
GOD BURIAL YEAR IS AMAZING.

edit: i can't wait until i fuck my life up again.

argh, fuck this town.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:58:02 GMT

we'll walk through candlelight and artificial flowers on sun street and drown ourselves in the swimming pool on the avenue of the little girls. you can't go three steps without encountering ghosts bearing all prestige of their legends. our vision fragmented, these monuments draw us back, draw us in, draw it out...but will never repeat.

i wish i knew a cool drummer i could play music with. :(

!!!!

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 23:28:27 GMT

hey look at my music & be jealous.